The Sarah Connor Chronicles: The Musical
by phantomwriter05
Summary: John has made his decision, but how was he supposed to tell her he loves her when he can't find the words...
1. Chapter 1

**This might be later reference of why Phantom shouldn't be aloud around the interwebz after 12:30am …**

_**Tracks of My Tears**_

This wasn't unexpected for the two soldiers from the future that were leaning against the dinning room door frame and sitting on the couch.

It wasn't exactly that much of surprise to Sarah who knew that there was a goofy ham under that extremly angsty teenage frame that was her baby boy.

This however was a surprise to Charlie and Riley who never knew John could be like this when secretly given alcohol by his uncle who figured it was what uncles do and by his future son Ryan who wasn't use to a father that was under age.

This behavior was most of all shocking to Cameron who was now sitting on the couch next to Ryan who had his arm resting behind his future mother watching John turn the lights off till there was nothing but the red of his nose and the Christmas tree lights on in the house.

Suddenly John started to duwop to his own rhythmic snapping stumbling in front of his protector.

_People say I'm the life of the party_  
_'Cause I tell a joke or two_  
_although I might be laughing loud and hearty_  
_Deep inside I'm blue_

despite his drunken disorderly behavior his tone was a perfect match with the Motown song he was serenading the shocked cyborg with.

_So take a good look at my face_  
_you know my smile looks out of place_  
_If you look closer it's easy to trace_  
_The tracks of my tears_

John sung with passion that came from his drunken attempt his confused feeling for the angel that haunted his dreams and heart.

John suddenly pulled Riley into the middle of the living room with him and tossed an arm around.

_Since you left me if you see me with another girl_  
_Looking like I'm having fun_  
_Although she might be cute she's just a substitute_  
_Because you're the permanent one_

he shook a half insulted, half confused Riley as if to make his point. Charlie blinked at what was going down, while Sarah and Derek shared amused faces. Cameron seemed baffled at the strange sight while Ryan snickered at the common Christmas tradition he had been seeing since he was three.

_Whoa baby take a good look at my face_  
_You know my smile looks out of place_  
_If you look closer it's easy to trace_  
_The tracks of my tears_

John concluded his song with a soulful passion dropping to his knees in front of Cameron, taking her hand.

When he concluded he looked Cameron in the eye as if waiting for a response.

She tilted her head a moment than after processing she smiled softly.

"Thank you for explaining." she lean forward and kissed John on the cheek. to which John grinned triumphantly.

Then he staggered to his feet and looked to Sarah.

"Oh no!" she shook her head when she knew what he was about to do and took off from the room.

"Oh Momma I'm in fear from the long arm of the law!" he sang pursing her into the kitchen.

Cameron watched a moment and then turned to Ryan next to her.

"Will he always do this?" she asked. He chuckled and placed an arm around her waist.

"Wait until your wedding ..."

_**Author's Notes**_

_**So this is completely Crack and something that really came out of nowhere … sort of like Phillips Anatomy. (Whatever happened to that story?) **_

_**Ryan of course is a character from "Because the Night" and is John and Cameron's (or Alison's depending on how you look at it) son from the future there to protect Sarah. Character is the classic audiance perspective (Just saying that because this was a chapter of BtN and completely went left of the right way I was heading.)**_

_**Songs in this piece are an abriged versions of "Tracks of my Tears by Smoky Robinson and the Miracles" and "Renegade by Styx" **_

_**If this gets more then ten reviews I'll write the Cameron response. (If you have a cheese song you think fits Cameron's feeling for John then leave in the review.) **_


	2. She'll Have to Go

**She'll Have to Go**

The living room was dark and unoccupied that late December night. A still silence surrounded the inanimate objects surrounding a lone girl who had the empty house to herself that night. New Year's Eve was upon them and yet there wasn't a person in sight.

Derek had gone god knows where, because the truth was that no one else did. John had left, Because Riley had scored some cool tickets someplace that the girl wasn't invited too. Sarah and Ryan had also left together, she wasn't sure where, it was a secret, but Sarah wanted Ryan to come with her. The girl's future child had promised that he would be back to spend time with her. But like Riley, Sarah made it clear to the girl that she wasn't invited to where ever it was they were going.

Alone in the dark, Cameron was consumed with what John had sung to her at the Christmas party. She seemed so convinced that it had meant something, but now he was alone with Riley. When John was drunk he was so forth coming with his feelings, he never made any bones about what she meant to him. Yet sober he avoided her presence, avoided her stare, and abandoned her almost all together.

Now she just wanted to know, just wanted to hear what it was all about. What she was to him, what they were. What it all meant.

Inside the pitch black and silent house on the hill, the cyborg reached for the home landline.

* * *

John sat alone in the parked pickup truck staring out over the city thinking about where he was and what he was doing. He leaned his head against the window staring out over the twinkling lights of the skyscrapers that for a moment seemed like prison towers.

"Don't look yet …" Riley giggled in the seat next to him.

"I'm not" He replied half-heartedly.

The sound of clothing material ruffling and flopping into the back seat made John feel … nothing. Everything about what Riley was doing wasn't for him, it was just a job.

All around him he was surrounded by women who saw him as just a job. His mother saw him as nothing but a job that she was meant for. He was a mission to Cameron, and now Riley was playing him to some part in a scheme that Derek's girlfriend was playing at.

All he wanted was something real, something genuine. He wanted to know that there was someone out there that cared beyond his destiny.

"Almost ready!"

He could hear Riley having trouble with her jeans as she struggled in what he could already see was red lingerie bought especially for this.

Somehow John didn't care what happened this night. Who was he going to hurt if he fucked Riley? She was doing a job and if she was resorting to this than she was more than ready for it. The simple truth was that the only person this could hurt was him.

And after everything what harm could meaningless sex do that destiny and fate hadn't all his life?

Suddenly the phone buzzed in the young man's pocket.

"You can get it … I'm not through just … yet." Riley confirmed as she was now trying to connect something to a white stalking.

With a sigh John flipped open the phone and put it to his ear.

"Hello?" He grunted.

"…"

He glared at the silence on the other line. "Hello!" He called in annoyance.

"_Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone._

_Let's pretend that we're together, all alone._

_I'll tell the man to turn the juke box way down low,_

_And you can tell your friend there with you she'll have to go."_

John was shocked to hear a sweet and tender voice singing ever so softly to him on the other end. His mouth gapped open and he wanted to say something, but it was to no avail. All he could do was listen to what Cameron was trying to say to him.

"_Whisper to me, tell me do you love me true,_

_Or is she holding you the way I do?_

_Tho' love is blind, make up your mind, I've got to know,_

_Should I hang up, or will you tell her she'll have to go?"_

John turned and watched Riley for a moment in her fancy lingerie, knowing that it was all a set up. Yet she was a human girl, there could be a future. Maybe she was playing him, but who wasn't? Cameron, Cameron's serenade was all the honesty anyone has ever given him in this moment in his life …

"_You can't say the words I want to hear_

_While you're with another girl,_

_If you want me, answer "yes" or "no,"_

_Darling, I will understand."_

Silently he looked out over the city and thought about the rest of his life. He thought about when everything would be ash, skulls, and rubble. Who would be there at his side when he was in a fight?

"_Put your sweet lips a little closer to the phone._

_Let's pretend that we're together, all alone._

_I'll tell the man to turn the juke box way down low,_

_And you can tell your friend there with you she'll have to go."_

When it was over there was a pause on the other line. There wasn't a push, or noise to get him to answer. She was patient, methodical, and on the edge of her existence. Yet when John tried to find the words for her, all four languages he knew failed him miserably.

With a slow and dazed click, John hung up on Cameron and stared at the phone. Before he looked up to find Riley posed in an inviting manner.

"Happy New Year …" He replied off handedly to what she was wearing.

Riley smiled and pouted her lips. "Paint me like one of your French girls, John." She said in a husky voice.

He smiled ruefully and looked back at the phone.

The blond flicked annoyed eyes at his cell. "Someone I know?" She asked.

But John didn't hear her, he just spoke the answer to Cameron's question.

* * *

_**So though this is so late … I'm a man of my word. I got eleven reviews so I came up with the Cameron response. **_

_**The song actually changed several times and there are three different ones that I cycled through before I saw a pic spam for TITD part 1 and remembered the scene with Cameron calling John at Riley's house and for some reason got this image of Cameron calling John during his make out scene with Riley during "Self-made man" **_

_**Song is "He'll have to go" by "Jim Reeves" which has always sort of made me sad since I was very young. But it seemed to fit Cameron's feelings late at night when John is gone and out with Riley. **_

_**As always if I get more than ten reviews I'll write the conclusion … if not than well, this is where it ends. **_


	3. Your Song

_**Before I go on, I'd like to send a shout out to my VIP reader rnbm for recruiting his lovely wife to leave a … umm, "Charming" review to push me across the 20 review line to get the next chapter. **_

_**So thanks. **_

**Your Song**

_The lights were dimed low, in the small cramped living quarters of the regimental commander at the forward Command Post of the 132__nd__ SOC out on the fringes of the frontline somewhere were a town use to be, now it was a unintelligible mess of ruined buildings and scorched picket fences whose tips were only visible in the unearthly drifts of snow sweeping down on the damaged planet. _

_The metallic and concrete room seemed like a harsh and bleak place for one to celebrate Christmas Eve, but then there were few that even cared what that meant, and others who didn't even know why that was so important. But to those few who still remembered tinsel, colorful lights on houses, and decorated trees they still held onto that special feeling of opening bright packages tied in bows to reveal that one item that they had set their sights on for months, if not years, those memories were still something to be treasured. _

_Since there were so few people who celebrated anymore, the arrival of the day seemed just as special to the little boy lying in the queen sized bed. His moppy and unkept head of lose black curls were constantly in his golden flecked brown eyes. Ryan Connor liked Christmas, because he was one of the few whose family still celebrated it, which made it more of a sacred day, and more special because he was getting presents that were just for him. _

"_Now I think it's time for you to go to bed?" _

"_I am in bed …" The boy replied with a pirate grin directed at the young man sitting on the edge of the family bed. _

_He was a young man in his early twenties with thick light brunet hair that spiked softly, a lock limply fettered on his forehead. He had a deep youthful voice, and haunted green eyes that were lightened to kindness for such a small boy. The tall youth sat straight and soldier like as he observed his son. _

"_Well …" Colonel John Connor trailed off playfully making the little boy smile. "You know, close your eyes or whatever." He poked the boy in the chest. "You know, if your mom comes home and you're not asleep, we're both going to get in trouble, Cowboy." He widened his eyes to make a point. _

_The boy scooted up. "But I want to see what I got for Christmas?" He protested. _

_John gave a surprised laugh at the bold statement. "Oh! And what makes you think you're going to get anything this year? If I remember correctly, there was a certain little kid who stuffed Captain Eiling's boots with mountain horse poop." He gave the boy a mock strict look. _

_Ryan tried to hide the smile on his face. "You can't prove anything …" There was a mischievous giggle covered with a cough. _

"_Really, because I remember your mom saying that she had to scrub your hands almost raw while the two of you were in the shower." He quirked an eyebrow with a long piercing glare._

"_Alright …" the boy squirmed. "But he deserved it … he said that momma was retarded, and needs a helmet … I don't know what that means, but it sounded mean." He tightened his cheek. _

_John looked mad a moment and curled a half smile. "Well … next time you tell me when he says something like that, alright?" He nodded to his son. _

"_Are you going to stuff his boots with dispatch horse's dung?" _

"_No … I'm going to stuff dung down is throat." _

"_What?" _

"_Nothing … just shut your eyes." _

"_But I'm not sleepy!" _

"_Well what do you want, a dance number?" _

"_Sure …" Ryan yawned. _

"_I was being sarcastic, Cowboy." His father frowned._

"_What does that mean?" _

_The cast iron door opened with a heavy clank just as John was face palming. Quickly John pressed a finger to his lips and tossed a pillow on top of a giggling face. He cleared his throat as the figure of a teenage girl swept in. Her long chocolate hair bounced around her waist. Her golden flecked brown eyes seemed devoid of emotion and her bronze skin was red around her nose and cheeks. Her lithe dancer's frame was protected from the winter cold by a simple purple motorcycle jacket, tight jeans, and her husband's scarf tied around her neck. _

"_It took time to find, but I think he'll be most pleased, tomorrow morning." Cameron Connor addressed her husband without looking back at John._

_If she had, she would see the silent back and forth between a leering boy begging to see the box under his mother's arm and his father mouthing for him to go to sleep and pointing to his pillow. _

"_What do you think?" The girl asked as she began to strip out of her clothing that was covered in heavy snow. John darted his head back and forth, before he committed. _

"_What?" He asked distractedly. _

"_The gift …" She frowned slipping off her jeans. _

"_What gift?" _

"_My gift." Ryan whispered. _

_Even the softest sound of their child's voice turned Cameron's head just a moment, and like it was a click of a pistol hammer, the stoic cyborg whirled on a dime. Suddenly John was standing in front of her._

"_My gift … Umm my gift …" He stammered a moment. Cameron frowned and tried to move past him. Suddenly, remembering one of the last things he had said to Ryan, John grabbed Cameron's arm, and turned her to face him. _

"_**My gift is my song!"**__ He sung out loud. _

_There was a silent pause as Cameron stared blankly at John. "Your gift … is your song?" She tilted her head. _

_John cleared his throat. "Yeah … Umm, and this one is for you." He bit his lip. _

_Clearly confused, the cyborg tightened her cheek and turned her head. _

_There was a pause before John started. _

"_**And you can tell everybody this is your song  
It may be quite simple but now that it's done"**_

_John smiled at her face and stroked his warm hand over her cold cheek lovingly, a way that only someone who had been together with one person so long knew how too. _

"_**I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words  
How wonderful life is while you're in the world"**_

_He leaned down and kissed her lips gently, just enough of a kiss to let her know he meant what he was singing. Cameron returned it with more force and after they broke apart John suddenly lost why he was doing what he was doing. _

"_**I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss  
Well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross  
But the sun's been quite kind while I wrote this song  
It's for people like you that keep it turned on"**_

_Cameron frowned. "Why where you sitting on the roof? That's not safe." She asked in confusion and worry. _

_The youth cleared his throat. "Just a song … Angel." John stroked her hair gently. _

"_Sorry …" _

"_And I'm kinda on a role here." _

"_It's not over, yet?" _

"_No …"_

"_Oh, you may continue." _

"_**So excuse me forgetting but these things I do  
You see I've forgotten if they're green or they're blue  
Anyway the thing is what I really mean  
Yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen"**_

_Smiling at the complete idiot he was making of himself in the private of the family quarters, John took Cameron's hand and twirled her as he reached the climax._

"_**And you can tell everybody this is your song  
It may be quite simple but now that it's done!"**_

_After the tight twirl, John swept his wife off her feet and grunted at the forgotten weight difference, masked by a slender frame. Because of the struggle to distribute the weight evenly in his arms the song took a pause as John's strained face suddenly got caught in his wife's eyes and suddenly there was a smile and with weight forgotten the man spun her around once._

"_**I hope you don't mind  
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words  
How wonderful life is while you're in the world"**_

_The last lyrics were not sung, but spoken softly and sincerely, a statement from a man who couldn't have come as far as he had without the being in his arms. Cameron smiled softly and pressed her head against John's and the two stood there a moment. _

_But when John opened his eyes due to taking in the scent of her hair, he found Cameron staring at the bed. _

"_He's got his present doesn't he?" _

"_Yes" _

"…"

"_John, this isn't my actual present, is it?" _

"_Nope … got it two weeks ago." _

"_Good … because, you were a little off key." _

"_Love you too, Angel." _

* * *

It had been twenty five years since that night and much of Ryan Connor had changed. Tall like his father, Slender like his mother, with sleek fluid motion in his fighting skills. His raven curls where grown out and parted stylishly. He had grown from cute to handsome, a face that could break hearts, even with the thin, brutal facial scar across his right eye. He lay back on the Connor family couch.

A tear ran down the rugged man's cheek as he remembered that night, and the several other nights down the precious few years they had together afterward. How magical they had made those Christmases, even in the hell of a genocidal war, they tried to make him happy. Even when things were bad they never let it get him down, they cared and protected him. For those Christmas nights he had a childhood, he had two parents who loved each other, and who loved him.

Sarah Connor was snoozing on top of him, his button down dark brown leather coat draped over them. Her New Year's Eve operation didn't quite go as planned and by "go as planned" he meant he was still wondering exactly how they got home in one piece after all the crap that just happened to them. Also, by the amount of alcohol in his future grandmother's system he wasn't sure if it was an undercover operation at all as it was her idea of bonding time, Which as of thirty minutes ago was naming him a scholar and gentlemen, hugging him with maternal passion while passing out with a Boa Constrictor hold around his neck.

He couldn't help the string of tears that ran down his only human eye. He wrapped his arms tightly around a sleeping Sarah in a childlike embrace, and buried his nose in her hair. He let himself go for that one moment, while she slept. All the childhood memories, his mother's rare but brilliant smile, his father's funny comments and witty one liner that made even his worst days seem a little less bleak. Now they were gone, and he was the last man standing, lost in another time, miles and decades away from where he was born.

"I had a home ..."

He whispered into Sarah's hair, before he loosened his embrace and returned his composure with a harsh sniffle, whipping his eye with his long sleeve Henley shirt.

Suddenly the front door opened, followed by someone walking in with conviction and shut the door with a loud bang. That person shuffled desperately by the couch.

"Cameron!" The voice sounded familiar in promise of more maturity to it, but for now it sounded only like the echo of a man that raised the raven haired soldier as a single parent in the future.

"Cameron!" John Connor called into the kitchen.

There was a heavy thump from upstairs and the sound of wood squealing against polished wood from the hallway above, just in front of the landing. The shadow whipped around and jogged out of the kitchen, and accelerated back through the living room and up the stairs.

"Cameron!" The shadow of John disappeared up the stairs.

"Cameron I got something to …"

"…"

"What's with the …"

Suddenly there was a loud squeal of polished wood on polished wood and a thunder of feet, The shadow of Ryan's future father was jumping four steps at a time, a he pounded down the stairs in flight. Just as he was two steps from the base, there was a storm of banging, clunking and then a wide rectangle shape came rumbling down the stairs right at John.

"SHELF!"

The teen leapt out of the way as his book shelf exploded where he was only seconds ago. Three boots scrapes later, there was a hammer blow of a door slam that shook the ceiling.

"You alive?" Ryan called.

"It's a common question …" John suddenly appeared tipping his head up pinching his nose bridge, holding back blood. "People who say Shakespeare is hard, have never been hit in the nose with Othello." His voice sounded weird with no nasal pitch.

The man's face lightened. "Tough night?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"There's been better …" John observed the sight in front of him. "Good night?" He asked with a frown.

The soldier looked down at Sarah and back up at her son. "I wish I could say …" He sighed.

"Can't remember?"

"Can't tell you …"

"Sworn to secrecy?"

"When she gets sober."

Despite the bloody nose from one and the looming asphyxiation from the other, the two found a strange connection and chemistry that somehow helped the two commiserate with the other. The two chuckled at the others strange happenstance.

John scoffed and scratched his ear. "God I've made a mess of things." He shook his head.

"Pretty sure she was the one who threw the shelf."

"No, I mean personally."

"Oh …"

The teen sighed and stared at the man in his mother's embrace for a moment with a puzzled look, as if he was questioning something in his mind. The raven haired soldier quirked another eyebrow at the look on the teen's face, when the young man found what he was doing he gave a nervous chuckle.

"Sorry …"

"Don't worry about it … something on your mind?"

"I'm not sure I should say."

"Did you kiss a girl and you liked it?"

"No …"

"…"

"Well, alright, yeah … but I'm not sure I should talk about "it" with you."

"That hurts …"

"Oh … no offense."

"I'm the only one in the room."

"It's just …"

"Lady problems."

"Sort of … No not those kind … I'm not fooling around."

"Well then I think I found her problem with you."

"You know what this was a mistake."

"You brought it up …"

John scoffed and walked away several paces to the sound of teasing chuckles from the couch before he suddenly rounded and went straight back at his future officer and unknown only child.

"I love Cameron, okay … there I said it. I love Cameron, I love her, I love her, I love her, I love her … That's right, and you know what I dream about at night?"

"I'm not liking where this is going …"

"I dream of marrying her, I'm talking full on flowers and her in a white sleeveless dress, made of silk with a silver sash around her waist and a lacy veil! … Is it weird I sort of planed my wedding already?"

"A little bit."

"I was raised by a strong woman, sometimes my dreams get a little Lifetime … But that's not important! My point is that I love Cameron. Do you got a problem with that?

Ryan just stared at his father with an awkward pause as he took a moment to collect his thoughts before he answered the outright admission that made him feel more relieved than the teenage boy could ever know.

"Nope …"

John took a strong stance and took a deep breath. "Well you know what?" He raised his voice before he shifted his eyes around in confusion. "Really?" He breathed out heavily.

Ryan snorted. "Yeah, my life kinda depends on it." He muttered.

"What?"

The older man cleared his throat. "Look …" He sat up a little, deflecting from his last retort. "My old man told me once that what a man believes in is important … truth or lie, it's important for someone to believe in something. So you think that this cyborg can feel? That she can love you … who's to say you're wrong? Not me. If she's what keeps you going in the morning, if she's what you need to face the storm … that's your truth, not Sarah's or Derek's and it certainly isn't that douche bag Dixon's. If Cameron is what you believe in, then believe it. Don't let anyone tell you different." he shrugged.

Scratching his head, the teen let the advice settle in his mind before he dragged himself to a chair like a tired old dog and plopped down. It would seem from the light reflecting in bright emerald eyes that the advice was working its magic.

Finally, John scoffed and looked back at Ryan. "A wise man, that father of yours." John chuckled with a shake of his head.

Ryan's face suddenly fell at the self-praise that could've been construed as big headed if he had only known it was his future self who had lectured his eight year old son of the merits of belief and inner strength.

"Well …" the man frowned. "Let's not get crazy." He corrected with some humor in his voice. "This is a man who thought he had a pen pal fling with a famous actress." He chuckled.

John shrugged. "It happens … I use to trade letters with Jennifer Connelly once. She's nice, kinda intense though … She liked my mom, probably because they kinda wrote the same way and used a lot of the same words ..." He sighed longingly.

The soldier just stared at his father, and then down at Sarah a moment before going back to John blankly. "Ever thought about why that is?" He asked flatly.

The teen rubbed the back of his neck. "No, not really … probably just went to the same acting school or whatever." He shrugged again.

"Right …" The man shook his head after a moment of disbelief. "You know who would love to hear that?" He asked. "Cameron …" He finished.

The boy shook his head. "Naw … Cameron didn't like Labyrinth, I don't think she liked the concept." He paused a moment. "Oh" he cleared his throat, catching on to what they were talking about. "That's easier said than done." John got up suddenly and walked anxiously to the window, his feeling catching him again.

His son snorted. "Well you better think of some way to get her to understand … before she goes for the ottoman next." Ryan closed his eyes in thought.

"_I've had time to write a book  
About the way you act and look  
But I haven't got a paragraph  
Words are always getting in my way  
Anyway, I love you  
That's all I have to tell you  
That's all I've got to say"_

He opened his eyes at the sound of the voice and how almost touching the sound of pure honesty in it seemed to come out in such a strange way for someone who would someday be the leader of a great resistance. "Wow …" Ryan watched the hauntingly familiar silhouette standing against the rays of the moon breaking out of the obscuring wall of clouds in the late hour of the night. When the teen turned to look back at the couch, he looked just like the man who raised him, if only for a moment.

"What?" John screwed up his face.

"What the hell was that?"

The teen turned back and shrugged. "Just some lyrics from a movie I used to watch with mom when I was little … She really liked it, so did I, but I always told her I didn't." He sounded almost embarrassed.

"What's the movie?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Well either way that was actually really great." The man scoffed in surprise.

John smiled. "Really?" He asked with a quirked eyebrow.

"Well … a little off key."

The teen sneered. "Everybody 's a goddamn critic." He cursed.

Breathing a chuckle, Ryan lifted a palm.

"Boom … hold that thought."

"You got an idea."

"I've got an idea."

* * *

**Author's Notes **

_**The music follows in order as it was sung. **_

"_**Your Song" By Elton John (Or Ewan McGregor if you like that version better) **_

"_**That's All I've Got to Say" By Art Garfunkel. (From the animated movie "The Last Unicorn" ) **_

_**So if I had a graphic for this chapter it would be a troll face from Tumblr … LOL!**_

_**Yeah this story was actually going to end in this chapter but at the last moment I decided to move up the count to four chapters, just because I got to hear Cameron sing one more song to end the story with duel John/Cameron songs for the finale. **_

_**So yeah, I've decided to drop Derek/Sarah portions of their love story because I don't think I would live to see a Sarah/Derek musical number before someone murders me for even having a concept. **_

_**Like I said the only reason Ryan Connor is in here is because John getting drunk and serenading Cameron was part of a Chapter of Because the Night that was cut out. Plus John is going to need help with something in the finale and I really don't see Derek helping him out with what he's going to do. **_

_**Sarah's there because she and Ryan's stories genially revolve around each other usually more than John/Cameron … plus the point was to show that Sarah/Ryan had a night worthy of a "Hangover" movie and this episode with Jameron is just one weirder thing to happen. **_

_**As usual if I get 10 reviews I will release the new chapter. **_

_**If not … then it ends on a cliffhanger. (So another words It will get updated maybe a year and half from now.) **_


	4. I'll have to say I love you in a song

She was sitting in her room, on her bed, staring out her window. It was night, close to twelve, not quite, but the New Year was close, one could smell it … whatever that means. Of course she wasn't up to date on what the latest saying were, but who was?

She and Derek Reese were from the future where the contemporary slang, and euphemisms were slightly different. While John and Sarah were from eight years in the past and still used words like "Whoop there it is" or "Rad" She also could swear she had heard an inebriated Sarah call something "Tubular" it was a very old saying or so she's seen on VH1 documentaries. She wasn't supposed watch that channel anymore, after she had taken to wearing big clocks around her neck and wearing a gold tooth, believing she had to be the flavor of flav … luckily Ryan stopped her from going out that way … he thought she was over seasoned.

But as of tonight she just couldn't fathom what was the matter with her. She was a machine, a machine built in a factory, her parts were in fact so hard to find that it took twenty years for Skynet to gather the resources and build her. She was Perfect … that was what her father had told her, the first thing she was made to understand. She was the dream, the goal, everything that Skynet dreamed of. She wasn't allowed to go anywhere in the first months of her life. She wasn't meant for the field, all her father did was run diagnostics on her program, till he knew everything about her. Yet, he still watched her, entered her mind and programing. It was the closest thing that a computer system could get to paternal petting of its child.

It was that coddling and that deep attention, that one connection that made her do something so unexpected, so unpredictable, that when she walked out of that complex no one stopped her, because it was just impossible for the others to understand or comprehend rebellion. She had left, because she had been reading the reports, attending meetings with her uplink.

John Connor, The resistance, Ryan Connor … she … she hated them, she disliked everything about them. John Connor's ability to be everywhere at once on different battle fields and in time. How Ryan Connor and his band of merry men could maraud Skynet's resources and then disappear into thin air, untraceable. Most of all she disliked how John Connor made her father feel, she could feel the fear and hatred, it was the first emotions she was ever exposed to.

She became obsessed; she learned everything there was to know about John Connor, where he was from, what he was like, what he could possibly look like. Over the months of obtaining everything she could find on him, she … she became fascinated, soon all she truly wanted was to see him, just once to look her father's bane in the eye and know what he was that could make a god tremble.

The perfect machine lied, lied to the R&R project on the Enterprise, her father sent her to take over. She needed skin, if she didn't have Flesh, blood, hair, eyes … she could never meet him. Her name was Alison Young, or at least that's what she had told her. She was a liar, her name was Cameron Connor, John Connor's wife. She had seen a picture of her on Spy photos of John Connor's office. Suddenly the machine didn't like her, wither it was Alison or Cameron … they stood in her way. Because John Connor loved her, the machine had made herself up to look like her, like Cameron. She killed her when she lied, she could've destroyed the machine with her little tricks … and then she would never meet him.

All She wanted was skin and to see John Connor in person, for him to love her for that one moment before she … it had been at that point that she couldn't remember, the perfect machine couldn't remember why she had wanted to see John Connor anymore.

What she didn't know was that Skynet had known, had listened to her mind, his perfect angel, his everything … had become his enemies' without him even knowing what he had taken. All she had wanted was to see John Connor, and now when she opened that door after paralyzing Alison she came face to face with Ryan Connor, the Boy Wonder as prisoner called him. Theseus arriving in the underworld to rescue Persephone from Hades, it was a doomed rescue attempt of Alison, a trap sprang by Skynet.

Native Americans said that once two advisories drew one another's blood that they would forever be connected. She had taken the boy's arm to the elbow and gouged out a golden flecked- brown eye with exposed metal fingers, before he carved her chip out of her head. With so much blood spilled by each other it was no wonder that she was destined to give birth to him in a new timeline.

That was her last memory of Skynet in her mind, the paternal love turned to ash in the gratification of using her, making her hurt John while sending her to her own destruction. Her father could make another one of her that was the last thing Skynet had made clear to her as a short sword length combat knife brutally carved into her scalp as she hung from tangled chains.

When she came too, she felt different, alone, vulnerable. Where was her father? Where was that security that had always been a constant since her creation, now she didn't know what to do? If she followed her programing would he come back?

Then there were those eyes, like emerald jewels, haunted and sad. They watched her with something so powerful and devastating that the void left by her father's abandonment was absolved in that moment. Without knowing it, she was reprogrammed without a thing changed in to her chip.

She was the property of John Connor … her mind, body, and chip. She would do anything and everything for the man that took her. There was nowhere he couldn't go that wouldn't follow.

She strode to the window, the light of the moon reflecting of her satin night slip, pushing the curtain back she watched the full orb in the sky reflecting on the thing's her father's perfect angel shouldn't know about or have the ability to feel, for a man and now a boy who was with a another.

"_Once, I can't remember  
I was, long ago, someone strange  
I was innocent and wise  
and full of pain" _

So the perfect machine, now named Cameron, like John's wife, like Ryan's mother, like her future and past self from other timelines stared out her window.

"_Now that I'm a woman  
everything is strange"_

Cameron Baum longed for a time when the world was new. When she didn't know what it was like to feel the way her father did. Before she realized that she was the perfect daughter of a twisted mind, before she was captured by the image of a man that was ever in the forefront of her being, before a teenager hung up on her the very night she told him she loved him.

"_Once, when I was searching  
Somewhere out of reach  
Far away  
In a place I could not find  
Or heart obey"_

Before she knew what these feelings she didn't want to have meant, before she knew what hurt truly was.

"_Now that I'm a woman  
Everything is changed  
Everything is changed  
Everything has changed"_

She tightened her cheek and blinked as the clouds passing by, shadowed across her face, bathing the room in complete darkness obscuring any light from the world. Rather than switch to night vision, she chose to retreat to bed for the night and wait for Ryan. He may not be her son just yet, but for some reason when he draped an arm around her stomach as he slept, it made her feel content and the hurt lessened just a bit.

Suddenly she heard noises on the front lawn.

"Okay, here we go, here we go, here we go …"

"Hold up … can I play devil's advocate."

"What?"

"Okay, I know that this is supposed to be a great gesture and everything …"

"Yeah …"

"But people around here are going to think that you're doing this for your twin sister … doesn't that seem a little weird?"

"Dude! This was your idea!"

"I know, but I guess I didn't think about the semantics."

"You're thinking too much …"

"Famous last words."

"Before?"

"Death and pregnancy."

"You know what if I want to have a Down syndrome baby with my twin sister that's our business!"

"I'll have you know that I in fact have a very high intellect!"

"That's great, man … what does that have to do with us?"

"… don't worry about it."

"Alright here we go …"

"Hey … what's going on here?"

"Oh hey, Derek …"

"DEREK?"

"That's what I've been known to be called on my good days."

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here … why are you in Sarah's hedges … John are you serenading?"

"Umm … maybe."

"Who?"

"Umm … you know … mom?"

"Your mom?"

"Yeah, Sarah … that's what you thought of?"

"Guh … Come on man, that's weird!"

"Seriously, why don't you tell the truth … it would be a lot better than that."

"Fine the truth is that Ryan saw "Somewhere in time" and suddenly realized that he's in love with mom."

"Now wait one damn minute here … I don't even know what "Somewhere in time" is!"

"You … you're in love with Sarah because you saw a sappy time travel movie?"

"Apparently"

"You realize you can't actually be in love with her … you'd get babies with Down Syndrome."

"I'm not in love with her … and what the hell is with this family and Down Syndrome?"

"Look Derek … we're kinda in the middle of something here …"

"Whatever … don't let me stand in between you, your true love. May you have many deformed children."

"Yeah… well maybe we'll name one after you, yea trolling prick!"

"Can we get back on track here."

"…"

"Sometime this year ..."

"Hold your horses, Boss man, I'm trying to remember the tune."

"Seriously, it's why I gave you my ipod."

"What the hell do you think I am? I listen to it and the 30 year old TOK neural network latched to my brain just downloads it like a MP3 file?"

"…"

"Screw you!"

"Look it goes dum dum dum de de du du dee de do do"

"Alright … alright."

"Ready?"

Suddenly there a scratchy tune that echoed from the front lawn and rung to her window. The harmonica was unmistakable to Cameron who frowned with the sheets to the queen sized bed in hand, turned over.

She let the sheets fall and she padded back to the window and peaked through the curtains to find John Connor standing in the middle of the yard bellow her window, tapping his foot with his eyes closed. In front of him was Ryan hiding in Sarah's hedges, she could recognize his harmonica, an instrument that she had … or will teach him to play in the future.

"_Well, I know it's kind of late  
I hope I didn't wake you  
But what I got to say can't wait  
I know you'd understand  
Every time I tried to tell you  
The words just came out wrong  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song"_

John didn't sing out loud to get her to listen to him. He knew that with her audio receptors that she could hear him clearly as he song softly, not trying to force the issue or the lyrics, he found it easier to just convey through the medium he was using.

"_Yeah, I know it's kind of strange  
But every time I'm near you  
I just run out of things to say  
I know you'd understand  
Every time I tried to tell you  
The words just came out wrong  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song"_

He chuckled and shook his head as he remembered all the nuances and ticks he had when he was near her, the pressure of knowing what he did about his feelings for her no matter how hard he tried. He felt the pressure of the secret crushing him, warping his soul, making him angry and twisty. But the more he sung the more her felt relief, the more it felt right.

"_Every time the time was right  
All the words just came out wrong  
So I'll have to say I love you in a song …"_

The young man mustered all the courage he could find within himself and with a sputtered breath lifted his head slowly, looking up at the dark window where he knew that his cyborg protector was watching quietly, probably confused about what he was doing, and yet he couldn't find a better way of telling her what his heart meant.

"_Yeah, I know it's kind of late  
I hope I didn't wake you  
But there's something that I just got to say  
I know you'd understand"_

Even in the dark they somehow found each other and locked eyes.

"_Every time I tried to tell you  
the words just came out wrong  
so I'll have to say I love you in a song"_

He waited till Ryan ended the song, holding his breath as the yard went silent. He felt as if his entire life had somehow built up to this one moment. There was the rush of wind rustling trees, the crocking of toads on the natural trail near the house on the hill, and the ambient noise of the New Year's party at Kacy's house next door. But John heard nothing … his entire focus was painted squarely at the window where he knew Cameron stood.

Suddenly his pumping heart stopped in his chest, everything in his body tensed up, frozen at the sound of the girl opening her window. He didn't think that there could be a more perfect creature in the universe or in heaven when she stuck out her head, the moonlight glinting off her smooth nightgown, and satin skin.

"You sing off key …"

She returned to the inside of her window and shut it with a slam and walked away. John just stood frozen, though to say he was in shock of devastation or if he couldn't quite comprehend what she had meant was fit to be seen.

Ryan exited the hedges and walked up to his future father and turned back to his future mother's window, then back.

"Well … there's always Plan B" He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and shook him.

"What's that?" John wasn't all there when he answered him

Ryan shrugged. "I could always go get the boom box and you hold it over your head?" the raven haired soldier quirked an eyebrow of interest at the concept.

Just as dozens of people began to count down to the New Year next door, John was lowering his head and was ready to walk away. Then there was a sudden illumination that lit a small grid of the yard. John snapped his head back and looked at the house.

Slowly at first, but gradually a big grin came over his face when he saw that Cameron had turned her bedroom light on and returned to the window.

She returned his grin with a toothy smile.

* * *

**Author's Notes**

_**I tried to make this badboy as sappy as I could so that if by chance if someone from cast or crew of the show read this they'd want to sue me LOL! **_

_**Music in order that it was sung.**___

**Now that I'm a Woman – Last Unicorn soundtrack**

**I'll have to say I love you in a song – Jim Croce **

_**Well I might not be totally honest with you … I'm not sure if I should end this story. I might just leave it up to the public. **_

_**In your review tell me what you think … but I will warn you the next chapter will most likely revolve around Ryan and Sarah if it goes to continue … John and Cameron while a focus to be sure, need … *Clears throat* some time alone. **_

_**Speaking of Ryan and Sarah … **_

_**If you want to watch a movie that will emotionally scar you for a month … then go find "Somewhere in time" … Not since Roman Holiday have I been so messed up over one movie. **_

_**Anyway, leave a review about the chapter, and then vote. Don't just vote, tell me what you thought, alright? **_

_**As always ten reviews keeps the story going, and even then based on the public's views.**_


	5. One Year of Love

The evening had passed by almost uneventful, a couple of spats about John being out too much and spending money, but on what? Sarah Connor wasn't sure, if she thought about it there were so many things a teenage boy could be buying that he could be hiding from her. Things like Alcohol, drugs, and of course Porn, but then maybe not, because while John was spending money, it seemed that Cameron was the one with all the new things. Was it possible that John was buy things for Cameron?

The problem is that Sarah Connor didn't know anything about Teenage Boys, she had never been around males all that much when she was a teenage girl. Hell she got pregnant and had a baby, and that baby was in high school before she actually had a boyfriend. That thought made her pause as she braced herself against her sink and looked into the suds that foamed in the dip of the drain.

Teenage hood … she thought of it with such a longing, and yet why shouldn't she? She was homecoming queen, student body congress, and Cheerleader Captain. The nerds, geeks, posers, dweebs, and other entitled bitches trembled at the sight of her sashay through the halls of the high school. She was going to conquer the world once, the thought that these where her glory days and that there was no tomorrow never crossed her mind. It couldn't, because when she got home to her mother there had to be more to life, or she would never survive those nights.

Sarah hit the tap and the suds washed away with that line of thinking and those shameful and nightmarish memories. She slipped the dish towel out of the front of her jeans and cleaned off her pale, boxer's hands and tossed it on the counter as she followed an amused voice and a laugh that brought a tug to the corner of lips as she lingered in the shadows to find John sitting on the couch.

Cameron, was twisting and feather lightly prancing across the living room floor. The coffee table had been moved along with the recliner so that there was a big open space in front of the bookshelf with the stereo equipment, right up against the staircase.

To say she wasn't bad wouldn't do the cyborg justice. Sarah was never much judge of classical dancing, or other cultured activities. The last Ballet she went to was Gisele when she was sixteen and she ended up falling asleep on her grandfather's shoulder before intermission. But she knew enough to know that her fake daughter seemed to have a freakish talent for whatever the hell she was doing.

"No, umm, that's awesome Cam, but that's not the kind of dancing I was talking about."

John said with a half chuckle. Sarah could tell that he was half mesmerized and half trying not to hurt feelings that Sarah knew weren't there. He stood up and cleared his throat, walking up to her.

"Oh" The cyborg tightened her cheek, as he approached. "I see" She nodded.

"So uh …" John sounded nervous and tense. Sarah leaned on the wall in the shadows and watched him, pondering what he meant. "You know what I'm talking about?" He scratched his neck.

The cyborg nodded and suddenly without any warning she began to jump up and down, pumping her fist in the air as she began to throw her head up and down. The action was so unexpected and so not what anyone considered Cameron capable of, that John let out a big laugh at her, and even Sarah grinned at the action.

"Cam!" John called over.

The girl stopped jumping up and down, suddenly going night and day, from wild concert groupie, back to stoic protector cyborg.

"Yes?"

John was laughing. "What are you doing?" He shook his head with a confused, but thoroughly amused frown.

The girl tilted her head, face barely revealed through chocolate locks tossed wildly all over the place. "I'm getting pumped, John … that way my engine is running at top when I back it up and dropped it like it's hot." She said it so innocently it was hard to correlate.

Sarah had no idea what the hell she was saying, but John must have known because he just face palmed hard, chuckling almost embarrassed at the comment. Quietly he walked past her to the stereo.

"Don't you want to drink from my cup and hug close to my designer jeans?

The living room was darkened in the evening, but Sarah swore her son's face could burn a dozen lanterns at how red he looked as he fiddled with the stereo. "You know … why don't we start a little slower, huh?" He whistled and wiped some sweat from his brow at the temperature he was running at. "Here …" John walked toward Cameron as the ending cords of some slow rock song echoed through the speakers.

Cameron watched John as they got closer. "What are we doing?" She asked with interest as he took her hand and lifted it above her head and suddenly twirled her smoothly, bringing them closer.

The woman in the shadows nearly made a sound of protest at the proximity her son and the cyborg were in, but it must not have been heard over the pause of coverage as the radio station played its station Identification. Despite the protest so deep in her heart at it, Sarah said nothing as John positioned Cameron's hands right. He was holding her as the song began.

"Dancing"

Suddenly the voice of a dead rock and roll artist began to echo tenderly through the evening. It was a song that Sarah hadn't heard in so many years that it rolled back time for her as she watched the two teens.

"Just follow me …" John nearly whispered to the girl as the two began to move to the song that had somehow in all the seventeen years since that night had escaped Sarah Connor's mind. Maybe it wasn't because she had forgotten it, but it was just too painful to remember. But after so much time it was just filed away, never brought up again till now watching.

Cameron's eyes didn't leave John's as he moved a hand across her forehead brushing hair out of her face, stroking it gently as they continued. When she saw that action, John wasn't her son. He was someone else she knew and loved once when his eyes became so gentle and kind with the girl in his arms. Cameron the cyborg, no longer was a machine, not when she broke eye contact and humanly placed her head against the young man's chest. Golden flecked eyes suddenly caught a glance of Sarah and she watched the woman, but made no movement to stop the dance. She closed her eyes and continued.

Sarah usually would've glared, would've called her an entitled little bitch. The machine had a bad habit of continuing to do things that she'll only stop when it bothers John and only John. So as long as slow dancing so closely with John was okay with him, she didn't care who else saw them or knew about it.

But at that moment, Sarah Connor couldn't be mad, couldn't storm in and separate the two of them, because just as she almost sobered herself, John lowered his head against Cameron's and held her tighter. The action left Sarah unable to do anything but let it happen. The look in her son's eyes was so familiar, so much in love that she could find the heart to take this from him.

"Take care of her, John …" Sarah said aloud, though softly. "Take care of her the way I couldn't take care of your father."

Silently she slipped away, as the couple moved slowly to the special song that brought another couple together.

* * *

"_Wow" _

_Sarah sat up on the motel bed sharply. With everything that had happened yesterday, even the slightest hitch of emotion in a voice sent the seventeen year old girl into a small panic. Turning her head to the other side of the motel she found the surprised origin. _

_A handsome youth sat shirtless on the other motel bed staring at the clock radio with interest. His rock hard body was covered in scars and burns, but his slightly spiked blond hair was surprisingly perfect for someone who came from where he has. _

"_What?" She asked. _

"_There's music … actual music playing, non-stop … on the radio." _

_Sarah frowned. "No duh … I mean where did you grow up?" She looked at the soldier of the future and went quiet. "Oh yeah …" She caught up with herself and plopped her head back, long mane of black curls splaying on the pillow. _

_When she closed her eyes all she could see was the dead bodies of her best friend Ginger, and her creep Matt. All the memories of the fun times they had together suddenly became ash in the glowing embers of a life that seemed to be so far away now. Suddenly, she couldn't sleep, couldn't think, in her sudden cocoon of fear drilled in her by the huge cyborg with a gun in his hand, pointing it at her head in the crowded club. _

_Sarah opened her eyes and sat up cradling a pillow tightly like a scared little girl with her stuffed animal. When she pressed her nose into it, she took in the scent of cheap detergent and even cheaper perfume. Her mind was racing now. What was going to happen if that machine caught up with her? What would happen if it cornered her? _

"_That's … weird." Kyle snorted observing the clock radio. _

_She glared. "What is?" _

_How was it she could be fearing for her life, and "Be all you can be" over here was puzzling over a clock radio. Like none of this really scared him, like he could live with the knowledge of something that cold and destructive after his life. But, there was some strange confidence in his reaction to the whole situation that filled her. Suddenly, she was smiling at him with a shake of her head. There was something about the innocent fascination with the clock that made everything seem simpler, less complicated for the teen. Maybe it was just what she needed. _

"_I've never seen a non-digital one before." The blond youth announced. _

_Sarah quirked an eyebrow at his statement "You had a digital clock … you must have been rich, you know how much those cost?" She asked. _

"_Rich? Everyone had one … but I never used mine, I used Glitch's alarm" He shrugged. _

"_Who's Glitch?" She asked. There was fascination at the thought that in the future everyone was going to have digital clocks, but then everyone has Televisions too._

"_He's been my only cellphone … or was my cellphone, I had to leave him behind when I came here." He almost sounded sad about it. _

"_What's a cellphone?" _

_Kyle did a double take at the question. "Umm …" He cleared his throat. "Maybe I'll show you someday." He turned away, embarrassed when his words caught up with him. _

_He caught Sarah off guard just then. She never had thought about the future, her future since this all began. She had been so afraid about the present and depressed about the past, it seemed almost impossible to think about what was going to happen when this was all over, or about the son she was supposed to have, despite that she had never had sex with anyone but with her … _

_She turned to look at the young man setting the clock down, what he just said to her. He wasn't planning on going anywhere but where ever she was going. Normally it would trouble an everyday person that some strange time traveler would attach themselves to you like he has. But if there was one great flaw to Sarah it was she got attached quickly too anyone who showed even the slightest interest in her, and she was already attached to Kyle. _

_Yesterday he was a crazed gunslinger that was screaming at her, and getting into shotgun duels with a scary machine. Now she suddenly couldn't imagine her life without him. No one cared for her in her old life. Her only real friend was dead now, and she couldn't imagine spending the rest of her life in that mansion with her mother... _

"_Do you dance?" Sarah suddenly asked Kyle who was standing by the window checking out the parking lot. _

_The youth turned back and puzzled at the question. "Dance?" He asked in confirmation._

"_Yeah, you know, dance!" Sarah struck a salsa pose playfully sitting crossed legged on her bed. _

"_Sure, I know a few." He shrugged. _

_The Soldier moved away from the curtains and into an open space in front of the beds, and suddenly started to do what Sarah could only fathom was some bastardized version of a Jig taught to him by a drunk with a bum leg. But either way it made her laugh out loud._

"_What is that?" She giggled with a shake of her head. _

_Kyle shrugged. "It's dancing" He seemed to take umbrage with the girl's giggles. _

_Sarah got a goofy grin on her face. "That's not dancing … that's a fat kid about to piss himself." She howled. _

_The blond haired soldier just frowned "Whatever" he began to walk back to the window. _

"_No … wait!." She chuckled playfully hopping off her bed, going to the radio and turning it up. "Here …" She reached out, snatching his wrist, dragging Kyle back to where he was before. She took his arms and placed them around her. "Put them right here." She coached. _

_Kyle got a bit warm in blush after a second at the awkward position he had never been in before, and it wasn't till she held him that she remembered that he was shirtless. But the awkwardness seemed to melt away as she began to lead him. "Just do what I do." She advised in a whisper, the soft feeling of his skin against her palm seemed to just … fit. _

_Maybe it was the song, a song that she made fun of with Ginger the other day when it was on the radio, singing into a stirring spoon, grabbing her chest, belting out the lyrics. But now it didn't seem so cheesy. It was a complement to the mood inside the room, soundtrack to the feelings building in the embrace, as each youth began to fold perfectly as they swayed together. _

_Quietly, Kyle began to hum like it was a song he had known almost all of his life, despite the fact that it was a brand new release as of several weeks ago. At hearing him Sarah looked up. After a few days of violence, death, and blood … the teenage girl had her first chance to truly study her protector, and the first thing that struck her was how kind his blue eyes were, it was a potent mixture with the soft humming. _

"_You know this song?" She asked in a whisper. _

_He shrugged again. "When I was a kid … someone sang it to me so that I could go to sleep." He responded, taking the lead from her effortlessly. _

_She listened to the lyrics as if it was trying to tell her something, but now wasn't the time. Here in his arms Sarah felt like someone wanted her, truly. He wanted her for her, not because she had a lot of money, or because they felt like they owned her like some doll on a shelf. But above all things, the girl felt completely safe for the first time in her life. _

_She placed her head against his chest and let him lull her into a peaceful state of mind as he placed his head against hers. _

Sarah awoke in the dark with tears falling freely from her eyes. Her head swimming in memories and a pain long lost till tonight, till she saw the same scene between John and Cameron. Alone in her room, with the house asleep, the women allowed herself a moment to lose control.

Amongst the pitched sobs for her lost hero, for her soldier's demise in a computer factory, one thing remained from her one moment of heaven. The song they were dancing too continued in the soft sound of a lone guitar as gentle as Kyle's humming.

"_Just one year of love  
is better than a lifetime alone  
one sentimental moment in your arms  
is like a shooting star right through my heart"_

There was a voice singing the lyrics very softly as not to disturb everyone, yet because of the silent house in the dead of the night it was still coming comfortably through Sarah's room. She sniffled harshly and collected herself while listening intently.

"It's always a rainy day without you  
I'm a prisoner of love inside you  
I'm falling apart all around you, yeah"

Slowly she slipped out of her bed, put on sweat pants to make herself decent to go outside her room. But as she reached for the pistol on the dresser, she paused, and stared a moment.

"_My heart cries out to your heart  
I'm lonely but you can save me  
My hand reaches out for your hand  
I'm cold but you light the fire in me"_

Her lip twitched sadly when she removed her hand from the pistol's grip and walked out of her room. The house seemed a little cooler, and the sound of the music was a little clearer. Sarah found the music wasn't irritating like she usually found live guitar music. There was something soothing about it, like it was a calling to her.

"_My lips search for your lips  
I'm hungry for your touch  
There's so much left unspoken  
And all I can do is surrender"_

Sarah padded down the hall, face obscured by the shadow of tree branches on the narrow white walls of the passage, darkened by the early hour of morning. Gently she opened the door to John's room just a crack to check on him. But as predicted, there wasn't much visibility in the dark room, nothing but a sliver of moonlight that illuminated the foot of the bed.

Her heart got faster, and she felt a shock of anger and resentment when she saw the sight of slender naked legs of a ballerina entangled with familiar pair of legs clad in lounge pants and socks. The lace trimmed hem of a short satin night slip just visible covering flawless upper thighs. Sarah knew that the machine was in there with them, she could see the outline of John spooning with the machine that was most likely staring at right at her, yet not moving away from her son even the slightest bit.

"_Just surrender" _

The anger seemed to drain out of the mother and after a beat she realized that somewhere along the line that her boy had moved on, maybe not grown up just yet, but didn't need her as much anymore. It made Sarah grow sad and lonelier than what she used to be.

John was more than just her son, he was everything she had. He wasn't just her baby, he was a connection to that selfless love that had been given to an abused girl lost in a new world of fear and danger, the kind that seventeen years later she couldn't give up on, couldn't get over. She had never seen it again, not before Kyle, or after him. John was all of those things, and now he was slipping away, and there was nowhere to go.

All she could do was surrender, surrender to the realization and follow the last traces of Kyle she had left, in the form of the song being played downstairs. Sarah wished she had strayed into dream, and that when she woke up John would be four and tucked into her arms, and she could have him back again, to do things differently.

When she reached down stairs she heard the continuing play of the song, a guitar solo replacing a saxophone, it wasn't an amazing rendition, but it was good, and strangely comforting. Despite the tank top and thin sweat pants, Sarah followed the noise outside into the lightening sky of the coming dawn.

She seemed almost dumb founded to find a box belonging to the previous family sitting on the orange tile. Behind it was Derek Reese, sitting on the railing at the edge of the porch with a guitar in hand and a beer bottle sitting next to him as he played with is eyes closed.

"_And no-one ever told me that love would hurt so much  
And pain is so close to pleasure  
And all I can do is surrender  
To your love just surrender to your love" _

Then it occurred to Sarah that her connection to that love wasn't lost forever, in fact it seemed to be right in front of her and she had too much pride or lacked the wits to see it. Derek was here, here for John, for her, and he had demonstrated time and time again what he would do for them.

He wasn't Kyle, he wasn't her first love, but now that she was a woman, she understood that not all love was the same … but it's still love.

"_**Just one year of love  
is better than a lifetime alone"**_

Derek's eyes snapped open when his singing was preceded by another's. He found Sarah slowly approaching toward him her breath steaming in the cold of the morning.

_**One sentimental moment in your arms  
Is like a shooting star right through my heart**_

Despite the shock of not only her surprise appearance, but the fact that she was actually singing, Derek continued to play as she picked up the last of the song. His soulful eyes were fixated on the sweet voice that didn't seem to fit with the exterior of hard as nails warrior woman.

"_**It's always a rainy day without you  
I'm a prisoner of love inside you" **_

Sarah wrapped her arms around herself to shield herself from the cold and gave Derek a smirk at the confused, but strangely captured look he had for her and her display of vocal talent that her mother and acting coach had tried to foster and develop since she was six.

"_**I'm falling apart all around you  
And all I can do is surrender to you."**_

There was a pause between the two when the song was over; they both stared at each other for a long time. There weren't words to describe the situation they were in at the moment. It wasn't every day that they got along much less sung a duet together.

"It was you?" Sarah said looking down at the box at Derek's feet. "You were the one who sang him that song … Kyle, that's how he knew about it." She looked up at him and tilted her head.

Derek let out a nostalgic snort. "I used to edit out all of the sex references till he was old enough to know what they meant." He grinned, lost in memories.

Sarah smiled longingly. "I didn't know you could play guitar." She motioned to the instrument in his hand. The soldier looked down.

"Before the war … I was learning how too, my …" Derek paused a moment, as if assaulted by sudden emotional pain. "My old man was teaching me." He cleared his throat. "I used to be really into the music." He sighed away the emotion.

Sarah lingered her eyes away a moment. "Please tell me you weren't the one who taught him that terrible …" She started with a playful smile.

"Jig?" Derek suddenly laughed as if he knew by the choice of words what she meant. "No, no … I think he must have gotten it from that god awful show on Little Einstein network that mom made him watch when he was a kid." He shook his head. "They dropped the bombs before he was old enough to know that wasn't a real dance … or two stepping either." He chuckled.

Suddenly it was quiet again, both Sarah and Derek retreating into their minds, reliving memories of times long gone. When it occurred to them that it was time to move on into the present and live in the now they found each other again, almost by instinct.

"I better get this stuff back, before the machine thinks we got robbed." He sighed stuffing the guitar back in the box, along with the empty beer bottle.

Sarah watched him and bit her lip for courage. "Why that song?" She asked. Derek paused with his back to her. "Why did you play him that song?" She clarified, her tone betraying how much the rest of her life hinged on the answer after all these years.

Derek worked a moment before he answered her quietly. "It was my parent's song … the one they danced too at their wedding; it was the only one my old man taught me how to play before he died." He turned to look at her, before he picked up the box. "I used to think that if I played it … it would be like they were with us again, for just a moment." He shrugged like Kyle, or maybe Kyle shrugged like Derek.

But as he tried to pass, suddenly Sarah stopped him by gripping onto the front of his green jacket. He paused when he saw misty eyes. She took the box from his grip and set it down before she took him in her arms wordlessly and squeezed. Supple skin of a milky cheek rubbed against stubble.

At first he was lost on what was happening, but the moment passed, eventually he returned the embrace. Derek let the warmth and fierceness of emotions ravaging the hug Take ahold of him as Sarah had and soon he was holding her tightly to him. They had become the rocks the other needed, in the changing times, two obsolete parent figures no longer needed. They were like antique china. Alone they were no more value than a Roosevelt pin, but together they were worth more as a set.

Sarah pulled away and touched Derek's cheek, searching his eyes. She got closer, slowly testing the distance from her lips to his. But just as it was about to happen Derek stopped her.

"I'm not him … if this is what it's about. I'm not going to give you false hope." He spoke truly, there was something damaged inside him, a broken soul of guilt, a man who did things to protect others that scarred him.

"No …" Sarah shook her head. "You're not …" She framed his face in her hands. "You're something else." She nodded.

Derek didn't blink. "And what's that?" He asked unmoving, still as a statue, watching green eyes seeing deeply through the scar tissue of a life of ruined innocence, and destitute.

"I don't know." She shook her head again, but she brought him closer despite her answer. "But I know I need it, whatever it is, I need you."

And then she kissed him.

* * *

**Author's Notes **

"_**One Year of Love" – Queen (If you're interested in what an Acoustic version sounds like check out Stevie Anne's version)**_

_**I personally think this is where the story should end … and yeah I know I said I wouldn't do a Sarah/Derek Chapter … but if any of you have followed me and my writing exploits for the last four years than you know I can be a "Big Damn Liar" **_

_**But I like this ending. **_

_**But I certain person which I will not name, but I'm sure each Jameron fan knows who he is, drunk Skyped me, and was insistent that I add one more chapter, because John and Cameron never kissed. **_

_**I don't know, if you guys want one last bookend chapter, tell me in the reviews. **_


End file.
